I'm going to take you guys all the way back to the beginning because what
good is a book when you read the last page first?
Trying to Conceive:
June 2015- Marcus is about 1.5 years old and baby fever is starting to sit
in. We start playing around with the idea of adding another little one (or
two) to the Ryan's. We both would love to have twins. I mean yes, it would
be a lot more work but we also have Gracie and Gavin who are more than willing
to help with what they can...they are our village. I have been working out, so
maybe I'll release more eggs giving two more of a chance to be fertilize OR
maybe since it's our fifth pregnancy it's just time we have twins. They do
run in our family, not that that always matters. But high hopes right? We would
really like to have one more little girl and everyone we knew that
was pregnant was having boys so maybe if we got pregnant soon the next
"cycle" would be girls...I know, all of this is so logical. We know it’s
all in Gods plans, but it doesn't hurt to try to plan yourself,
right? Also we knew that we were moving to the desert before the baby
would be born so if I didn't want to be pregnant during the summer we needed to
get on this ASAP.
July 2015- No positive :(
August 2015- Getting a little discouraged from the previous month I decide
to get an ovulation test kit. Yes, I know, it's typical not to get
pregnant your first few tries but I don't think you guys understand; my body is
like clockwork and my nickname is fertile myrtle. So I'm on
my cycle, that ends, wait 7 days and guess what day it is? Hubs birthday
(August 27th, 2015) and ovulation day. BAM, I get to kill two birds with
one stone! Okay, TMI. On to September.
Finding out:
September 6th, 2015- 10 days after ovulation, still a few more days before I'm
supposed to start again. But day in and day out all I can think about
is, am I pregnant? I know this person will be reading this, so I start stalking
a twin moms Facebook, going back through her timeline of how long it took
after conception that she got a positive. I think it was 11 days (Hi
Shannon!). It wasn't a faint positive either, it was a very vivid
positive. Again, I really have my heart set on twins. So I think
even on the 4th of September I took a test. Negative. Blah. These test
aren't cheap either...well depending on the brand you get, and for us we've
always used First Response so we're kind of biased towards them.
I'm pretty sure I tested on the 5th too. Negative. Only two test come in
a box so back to the store I trotted (not really, we lived off base)
and finally I said well I'm probably not pregnant anyways so I'm just going to
buy two $1 test. I still had one First Response from another box at the
house but I was going to save that for next cycle because if I
wasn't pregnant this time, by golly I was going to make sure it
happened next time...like no leaving the bedroom, standing on my head, okay TMI
again. Anyways, I was pretty certain we weren't pregnant. Back to
September 6th, I test again using the one-dollar test. I wait the
recommended 3 minutes (actually I only waited like a minute), didn't see
anything so I just toss it in the trash. I knew it. We missed it
again. Angry, a lot at Chance for no reason really, but in my mind it
was his fault...because technically he's the only thing that I'm waiting on to
become pregnant, right? I go downstairs pouting telling him that it didn't
work this time either and that I wasn't sure I wanted to try
anymore...blah, blah, blah. Basically being sour because it didn't work
when I wanted it too. Sitting for a minute or two downstairs, I think
‘maybe, just maybe you really should wait the 3 minutes before
checking it’. So I go back upstairs not really expecting anything different
and in the sunlight I see the faintest line. Literally, almost non-existent.
I call Chance up to take a look to make sure I wasn't making myself
see something and he couldn't see anything, granted he
didn't have his glasses on. He says, “lets test again in a few days”. To
which I reply, “no…I'm pregnant. I KNOW it!” It was like God give me the
ability to see that line even though no one else could so
I would quit pouting. That night we go to our good friend’s/neighbor’s
house for dinner. I'm busting at the seams. I KNOW I'm pregnant but nobody else
does. Not even my husband believes it yet. So I tell them. First people to know
(Hi Kayla!). I even said we're not for sure YET but I'm 99.9% sure. They
congratulate us and the night ends. I think we played games and whatnot
but that's irrelevant to this blog post.
September 8th, 2015- Two days after I know I'm pregnant, I take another
dollar test. Hate to be the one to say it but...TOLD YA
SO! Two pink lines.
Still wasn't enough for the hubs, so I take the
expensive First Response.
And we have a believer! So many things
start running through my head now. Sadly, first is, okay it's 12 days after
conception and the line isn't that vivid so chances of twins
aren't very high but I'll still keep my hopes up (and up until our
first appointment I googled like a maniac about how long after conception
did people get their positive; how dark their lines were; what their bellies
looked like at so many weeks...yes I was a little obsessed). Second would be my
biggest worry until we had an ultrasound and got through the first
trimester...miscarriage. This is my fifth pregnancy; so far I've had
no miscarriages and my turn has to be coming...right? I mean, everyone
eventually has one don't they? Yes, we've lost a child and I would try to
justify that as "my turn" but the fear was taking over and
stealing my joy. And one night after asking prayer for peace at our amazing
life group, God had spoken to another couple (who had lost a child previously) during
their current pregnancy and they relayed the message to me...God is the
giver of life. He will not taketh it away. Anytime Satan came to steal my joy I
would repeat, I rebuke you Satan. My God is the giver of life!
And so our new journey began.
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| 4 weeks |
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| 8 weeks 3 days |
Confirming:
Not just the journey of adding a new member to our family but we were also
about to move across the country in under 2 short months. By October 23rd,
2015, all of our stuff had been packed and put on a boat, our van had been
shipped, we were living in TLF (a hotel on base), and I was 10 weeks 1 day
which meant first baby doctor’s appointment! They don't see you any earlier
than 10 weeks at the clinic on our last base for the "just in case"
reasons. But on this visit you get an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy.
Super nervous, excited, and still hanging onto the thought of twins we peel our
eyes on the monitor. Thankfully the doctor that delivered Marcus was able to do
this ultrasound. Black and white images start coming across and then we see
"it". Just one. But that's okay, it's there and oh wow! Obviously
thriving. I've never seen a baby as active that early in an ultrasound, nor so
developed!
You could already see the arm and leg nubs and it was literally
wiggling around. This is my fifth pregnancy so you'd think I'd be bored of
these things by now, I mean they all look the same at this stage...but nope. My
mind was blown. Pictures in hand, we leave the appointment and head straight
for Germany to our church retreat, where we spent our last weekend in Europe
before thousands of miles to New Mexico.
 |
| Our beloved pastor and his wife |
Announcing it:
Unless you were my sister, church family, or close friend you wouldn't find
out until you either seen me and asked me or until we eventually revealed it on
Facebook at 20 weeks. We didn't even tell our family (except my sister).
With all the kids except Gracie and Jayden, who I didn't have Facebook
with when I found out I was pregnant, we've waited until after our
first ultrasound to post it. Being so far from family, social media is the
easiest way to keep our families up to date. I've tried being creative with
how I post it besides a status of ‘We're pregnant!’ With Gavin I had
bought Gracie a shirt saying ‘I'm going to be a big sister!’ and we posted
a picture of her in her shirt and the ultrasound as the announcement.
With
Marcus, I made signs saying ‘We planned (with the most recent family
photo we had) but God laughed (with a picture of the ultrasound picture)
5+1=6’ and took pictures of Gracie holding them as our announcement.
I
don't know if I've posted this before but Gavin and Marcus were birth control
babies. Gavin with the nuva ring and Marcus with the pill. With announcing this
one I wanted to be even more creative. Discreet actually. I wanted
people to know, but not know. So being the googler I am, I start searching
for ideas. I found one really great one then came up with another on my
own, which I didn't go with. Each week the baby is the size of a different
food. So every month I would find what food matched with how big the baby
was and photograph my kids eating that food. I posted something like ‘Food
Challenge: My kids are super picky (which they are) so they're going to
be doing a trial of new foods’. We done poppy seeds (4 weeks),
kidney beans (8 weeks), and sugar snap peas (12 weeks).
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| Eating poppy seed bread |
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| Hard to believe this is how big they start out at; week 4 food |
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| Kidney bean; 8 week food |
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| Sugar snap pea; week 12 food |
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| They weren't fans |
By this
point, me and the kids were in Kentucky visiting and stayed too busy to
keep up with the Food Challenge so I stopped. One person (Hi Kaela!) caught
on to it. My other idea was I had been working out for about 3
months. I had done some before photos to document my progress. So I was
going to do some after photos since we had either been thinking, trying,
or pregnant during those 3 months. And the last progress photo comparison
would be of me 3 months prior and then 3 months into the ‘workout’ with me holding
a pregnancy test. Of course, if I posted those then it wouldn't be
discreet. I actually did take those photos but didn't post them, so here
you go.
 |
| Before |
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| After 5weeks 5 days |
After re-reading these first few paragraphs, I've come to the
conclusion that I'm an over thinker and over planner. Geez.
When me and the kids took our unexpected trip to Kentucky I had just
hit 12 weeks and we were there until somewhere around 20 weeks. Being the
small framed woman I am and this being my 5th pregnancy (usually you start
showing earlier with each pregnancy), not many of our family members
missed the bump.
 |
| 12 weeks |
I remember distinctly some people asking me like for
example my biological father. Me, my sister, and our kids went over to his
house for supper one night and after eating I of course bloated making it even
more noticeable. It didn't help I had two helpings. As we were leaving, I gave
him a hug and he said "are you pregnant again heifer?" Of course I
laughed and had the biggest smile on my face, to which I replied "did you
think I was just all of a sudden getting fat?" Another time was
Thanksgiving Day, of course I'm eating again, at my grandmother’s house, my
cousin (Hi Karissa!) asked me when we were going to have another to which I
smiled really big and said "well actually in May". That same night I
went to my dad's side of the family Thanksgiving dinner and they too noticed
the bump and found out. My step dad, the person we were staying with at first,
was completely oblivious to it. He didn't ask one single time. So finally one
day I looked at him and asked him if he just thought I was getting fat and
didn't want to offend me by asking. He said he honestly hadn't even noticed!
How nice of him! We mainly didn't want to just come out and tell family because
of their reactions. We didn't want any negativity. And in this day and age more
than one kid is too many. To us anything more than one kid is that much more
of a blessing in our lives. And of course with people finding out came
the throat punching question, are you done yet? (Screams in my
head) I always responded with, if that's Gods plan (funny how I say Gods
plan now, but if you remember in the very beginning it was about what I
had planned!). By the time we left Kentucky everyone knew we were
pregnant.
 |
| 16 weeks 3 days |
 |
| All our babies |
Planning the birth:
While in Kentucky I started to plan for the birth. Were we going to
have a hospital, birth center, or home birth? Were we going to be able to
pay out of pocket for the birth center or home birth? No matter which one I
went with, I needed to figure out care ASAP. I posted on one Facebook page
for our town asking about my options. Options! I finally had something
else to choose besides a hospital. There's nothing wrong with hospitals
but after you've had two non-medicated births (one already at home), no
previous or current medical complications, multiple other children, and not
living near family or knowing anyone well enough to trust them with your
child's wellbeing...it’s just not your ideal place. Not many people had
had good experiences at the local hospital (later I found it was from past
experiences and most of that staff had rotated out), there was a
birthing center...in El Paso, Texas an hour and a half away, and there was
a midwife/student duo but the midwife was based out of El Paso
also. Me and Chance discuss our options. He wasn't too keen on a home
birth (still frightened from the unassisted birth of Gavin) and knew we
wouldn't make it to El Paso but he also knew I really didn't want to
go to the hospital. Again, where would our kids go because I would need
him at the hospital at least for the first 24 hours and given my history, even
with my 2nd and 4th deliveries, hospitals try to keep me for 3 days! Ain't
nobody got time for that. So I contacted the midwife/student duo and started to
get things set up for my dream home water birth. Of course I would be in
Kentucky until around 20 weeks, so we decided it best I find care there to
stay up to date with everything. So I contacted an office (funny thing, after I
left KY the doctor was indicted on a charge from a little while
ago where him and his ex-wife had gotten into a domestic dispute and she shot
him!) and had an appointment at 16 weeks for the quad scan and to
listen to the heart beat for the first time. The only reason we opted for the
quad scan this time (we've refused it every other pregnancy because the outcome
didn't matter...those test aren't 100% accurate and we would still give our
baby a fighting chance if anything off were to come back) is because
of the scare with Marcus. It really was a silly reason as I knew if
anything were wrong they could tell me from the ultrasound like they did with
Marcus. But thankfully our chances of any defects came back slim to none.
When the tech listened to the heartbeat I told her not to tell me what the rate
was because if she did I would know the sex. For us the lower the heartrate, it’s
a boy; the higher the heartrate, it’s a girl. I didn't want to find out the
sex without Chance. However, she wasn't well rehearsed on ‘if it
even gives a hunch, keep your mouth shut’. So after listening she said, oh yeah
you'd definitely know if I told you. I guess you could take that either
way, and that's what I kept telling myself so I wouldn't get so upset
at her but to me it was like her saying...it’s a boy.
After that
appointment, we scheduled the 20-week anatomy scan but ended up leaving for New
Mexico on the day of the appointment.
Finding out the gender:
At first I didn't want to know the gender. But then we really wanted a
girl and there's no way I could go throughout the entire pregnancy not
knowing. It would drive me insane. Because as you seen me say above,
I'm a planner. Gavin was our surprise baby but I didn't really have a
preference on gender with him since we already had a boy and girl. It
was pretty easy to go without knowing for him because I just bought
everything gender neutral. But with this one, if it was a girl I wanted to go
full on pink or just girly colors in general because Gracie didn't have
all the girly stuff; she just had the hand me down stuff from Jayden, and
while not having pink/girly stuff with this one wouldn't be the end of the
world...I still wanted to. I’m sure I’ve shared this but the Ryan male blood
line doesn’t carry many ‘x’ chromosomes. Chance is one of 9 and there’s one
girl, so if this were a girl she’d probably be our last girl if we had more
babies. So on the same day of our 16-week appointment in
Kentucky, I snuck away without telling anyone and went to a 3D ultrasound
place (Precious Views). I know, you're thinking ‘I thought you weren't
going to find out without Chance?’ I didn't find out.
I go in, the lady
starts the ultrasound, and I have the 3 other kids with me. Gracie is so
excited. She keeps saying how she really, REALLY hopes its a girl, that she
wants a sister, and it’s the cutest thing she's ever seen...? There's no fat
on the baby so to me it looked like an alien or as I also like to refer to
as Michael Jackson because of the nose…no offense, sorry (but it’s good to know
that even on my worst days I bet she still thinks I'm gorgeous!). Gavin
doesn't really care about what's going on and Marcus is trying
to climb on the bed with me. The tech checks the goods first
while our viewing screen is turned off and then
she starts questioning about what I preferred since Gracie kept
singing the song of a girl. I told her a girl. She then said "well,
what does dad want?" having that 'um somebody better want a boy'
behind her voice. And I said “a girl”. But then I assured her if it
was a boy, we'd still be just as excited! She finished the ultrasound by
letting us see the baby in 3D and 4D then printed lots of pictures,
slipped the gender picture in an envelope, and put the full ultrasound on a
DVD.
 |
| 15 weeks 6 days |
I leave and let me tell you...curiosity is killing this cat. I put
the envelope in my glove box and pray for strength. My plan was this
being part of Chance's Christmas gift. See, we weren't sure if we'd
be back in New Mexico on Christmas so I wanted to try and make it as
special as possible. He'd been wanting a Fitbit watch for a while and I
thought ‘oh perfect! I’ll take the gender reveal picture, tape it inside
the box so at first he's excited about the watch then once he opens it, there's
a whole new level of excitement!’ I wanted to get him more for Christmas
so I went and got some cologne (it was a kit that came with a bag, so inside
the bag I also put the DVD of the ultrasound) and two jars of pickled
bologna to put in the box. I know...you're probably thinking ‘pickled
bologna’?! But that's one of his favorite foods and he hadn't had it for
nearly 3 years and they don't sell it in NM. So I got all his gifts, the
wrapping paper, box and packing stuff, then packed it all up. You're probably
wondering how I taped the picture on the inside of the watch without looking at
it. I would say very carefully. I closed my eyes really tight and pretty much
guessed and felt around to put the picture on there.
On the flaps of the box I
wrote Merry Christmas and told him not to open the box any further without
having me on skype or without his phone being set up to record it.
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| The first 'layer' was the pickled bologna |
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| This separated the pickled bologna from the cologne and watch (they're underneath) |
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| Cologne and watch |
He
didn't even know the box was coming. It was all going to be a
surprise. The next day I went to mail it out and almost didn't walk
out of the post office without throwing a fit. The lady was trying to tell me I
couldn't send the box because of the cologne. I assured her it wasn't over
the limited amount, that it was just small bottles in a bag that you get
from American Eagle. She kept asking me if I was sure it wasn't a big bottle
and I said I'm positive. Both of us aggravated, she finally agrees to ship the
box. What she didn't realize was the pickled bologna were in jars of
liquid but I wasn't about to tell her that. Not to mention she would've
never known about the cologne had I not filled out the wrong form to ship it.
I filled out the one I'd been used to filling out when we lived in Italy which
is an international form and you have to list all components in your box on the
form for custom purposes. Anyways, the box was off and now I just waited
and stalked the tracking. While waiting I find out that Chance is
being sent out to go help with a crash site. Of course I thinking,
what if the box gets there without him being there and the guy he was staying
with tells him he has a box...then it won’t ALL be a surprise. So I begin
praying he gets back before the box gets there and thankfully that's how it
went. It was one of the longest weeks of my life! Finally, one night after
he gets off work, he goes home to find the box on the porch. He
then opens it and sees we need to skype. So he texts me and says to get on ASAP.
Before getting on I pretty much threaten Gracie (not really) about not saying
anything about the box. To just act surprised about it all. We get on, and he’s
telling me about his day. Just so happens the axel to his friend’s truck wheel
broke while he was driving it but thankfully he wasn’t going fast and he was
able to stop the truck. Not to mention he’d worked all day and hadn’t eaten
supper yet so it just wasn’t his best of days. That made me even more antsy.
Boy was his day about to do a full 360 but I couldn’t tell him that! So he
begins opening the box and unwrapping his gifts. First are the two jars of
pickled bologna. Then I instructed him to open the watch first, of course
without telling him what it was. He opens it and is ecstatic! Without my
prompting he immediately starts to open the watch to check it out, and his face
goes blank. Then he says in a heartbroken voice “you found out without me?” but
had tears of joy in his eyes. By this time, I was busting at the seams and shouted,
“No! I don’t know! You’re the first to know!” And in disbelief he says “you
don’t know?!” I shouted no again and he just sat there and laughed. Evil. Pure
evil. So I shouted “What is it?!” And that’s when the precious words fell from
his mouth that we were being blessed with another boy.
Of course I was kind of
disappointed because I really wanted a girl, but that last all of eh, 5
seconds. However, for Gracie it was another story. She was sitting right beside
me and I said “did you hear that; you’re having another baby brother!” She has
the maddest look on her face and tears start to fill her little eyes. “I heard
him” she grumbled. So I said “what’s wrong?” She angrily answered, “I wanted a
sister”. Obviously she got over that he wasn’t a girl but that doesn’t mean she
don’t ride our tails about having her a sister still.
To view the gender reveal video click on the link below:
And so the name challenge
began (it’s SO much harder to come up with a boy name than a girl name…I had
the perfect girl name picked out, Mia Anice, and if you steal it I will come hunt
you down! Other options I had for a girl were Presley, Emerson, or Miriam with
Renee, after Chance’s mom, or Sue, after my mom, being the middle name) for our
fourth little boy. I really wanted another ‘M’ or ‘J’ name since we had two
‘G’s, one ‘M’ and one ‘J’ (that’s fault of my OCD; I can’t stand things not
being even; and the reason Marcus wasn’t a G name is because he was named after
his uncle who has a very special place in our hearts). Originally, before I
even got pregnant I had picked out Jeremiah, Josiah and Abel. I loved them all
because they were biblical. For Jeremiah I could call him Jer-Bear (how
stinkin’ cute?!). Except then I remembered after falling in love with the name
that Chance’s little cousins name was Jeremiah. I remember going home after
having the epiphany and saying to Chance, “we can’t use Jeremiah (all the while
pouting and whatnot)!” He says why not? Um, because your cousins name is
Jeremiah. It took him a minute but he had the same epiphany. Not that we
couldn’t name our baby Jeremiah too, but we all want our kids to be their own
person especially in their own family. A little while later as I sat in our
church at Aviano, ashamedly not paying attention to the sermon, I began looking
up baby names in the bible (again, I wasn’t even pregnant at the time) when I
came across Josiah and a description about the person he was. 2 Kings 23:25 NLT
“Never before had there been a king like Josiah, who turned to the Lord with
all his heart and soul and strength, obeying all the laws of Moses. And there
has never been a king like him since.” This was it. But then my step-sister,
who was also pregnant with a boy, choose that name before we had made anything
final. I guess that was God’s way of saying that’s just not the name I have
chosen for him. Those were pretty much the only ‘J’ names I liked so I moved on
to Abel and the ‘M’s. For Abel, I couldn’t find a middle name that fit and it
seemed that Abel fit better as a middle name but I didn’t want it for a middle
name. Then Chance chimed in saying “what about Cain Abel?” I gave him the
‘really?’ face and he honestly hadn’t put two and two together. I said think
about it, then he had the a-ha moment. We both laughed. From the Bible there
was Matthew, Malachi, and Micah. None of those really stuck out to me plus we
have two friends with boys named Malachi. Chance really liked Matthew and one
of his favorite Christian artist is Matthew Redman who sings Ten Thousand
Reasons so that was his pick. I was still on the hunt. I turned to google and
found Mason (I have a friend whose nephew’s name was Mason) and Maxton that I
really liked. Maxton in particular because I had never heard it before and
didn’t know anyone with that name. That’s like finding gold. Literally. I
really didn’t want a name that I knew someone close had (Chance would
beg-to-differ…the name we chose couldn’t belong to anyone else. ANYONE. He
would suggest a name and I’d tell him I know someone with that name, like he
suggested Jonathan but I ‘dated’ a boy in the first grade named that. Really?
So any suggestion he’d make he’d say “oh wait, let me guess, your mom’s best
friend’s cousin twice removed has a son named that, huh?” He thought he was
real funny!). But when I looked up middle names to go with Maxton everyone was
saying “don’t name your kid that. When they get into school people will start
making fun of him especially if he’s on the bigger boned side saying
‘Max-weighs-a-ton’”. Really?! But truth be told, kids are mean and it was
probably true. So then I thought what if I changed the last two letters to ‘in’
since when you pronounce it that’s what it sounds like anyways? I was lying in
bed, super late one night and texted Chance “what about Maxtin?” He replied,
“that’s it! It’s perfect!” Thinking ‘shew, first names out of the way now onto
the middle name’, little did I know we’d be in this name battle until the day
he was born. We’d already run out of family names that we liked for middle
names (Jayden was named after Chance’s daddy Glenn, Gavin was named after Chance,
and Marcus was named after his uncle Mark) so I began trying to find something
personal to me and Chance. I wrote down things like where we first met, things
we’d done together, cars we’d had, etc. Then I got to thinking about our first
movie we watched together…The Butterfly Effect. What if we used an actors name
from that movie? I looked up all the actors and found Evan. Perfect! Maxtin
Evan Ryan. I loved it. Notice the past tense of that word…lovED. But I had made
the mistake of telling the name to Gracie.
No one else in the family knew the gender and since it had been decided we
were going to be in Kentucky until right after Christmas I was going to buy a
bunch of Hersey bars for everyone and color the H-E to reveal the gender. A
double whammy Merry Christmas! However, that plan fell through when we had to
up and run from Kentucky in a split seconds notice. We left two days before
Christmas and arrived in New Mexico with my sister and nieces on Christmas day.
Boy am I glad I wasn’t too far along in the pregnancy because that would’ve
been a long 3-day car trip having to stop a pee every 20 minutes.
Half way and beyond (ha, you couldn’t read that without thinking of Buzz
Lightyear could ya?)
 |
| 20 weeks |
We arrived in New Mexico and I had so much to do. First thing on my mind
though was getting settled in our house and turning it into a home. Our
household goods had just been delivered on the same day we started driving down
from Kentucky. Thankfully my awesome husband had all the big stuff set up, even
the Christmas tree, and I just had to sort through the other stuff. I also was
not going to sit and look at plain walls again for the however many years we
would be here. We didn’t do anything to our walls in South Carolina because we
were in an apartment at first, then in our own home (which we got orders 28
days later to Italy), then in Italy for four years. I didn’t care if we were
only here for the 2 year minimum, I was going to decorate and paint! One of my
main goals was to finally set up a themed nursery. Because we had 8 people
living in a 3-bedroom house, space was pretty limited and the nursery would
have to be part of our master bedroom. No big deal though because the babies
have always slept in our room for at least the first 8-12 months. I didn’t want
the overdone Winnie the Pooh or cheesy themes. I wanted it to be something he
could grow into and I wanted to incorporate scripture with it. And so a
beautiful nautical nursery/master bedroom was birthed (I’m still not sure I’ll
let him take the décor with him when he moves out either).
But let me tell you,
being between 20 and 30 weeks pregnant and climbing a ladder is a scary thing.
You can’t get as close to the walls as you used to could. And your
feet/ankles/every other part of your body will suffer too. Swelling and
soreness at its fineness. It was totally worth it though.
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| I had also painted the entryway/hallway and laundry room |
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| The left is the aftermath swelling of painting, the right is normal |
Between the time of all this Van Gogh stuff, at 21 weeks we had an emergency
trip to the ER. The day was going good. I had eaten chicken and rice enchilada
casserole about an hour before the pain set in. Around 3 my right side began
hurting. I went to the kid’s bathroom thinking maybe I had to use it, but then
I couldn’t move. The pain had intensified so greatly that I literally wiped and
found myself in the floor unable to get up. Chance had just gotten home from
work and was going to take a shower in the master bathroom. Thankfully the kid’s
bathroom and the master bathroom share a wall (weird most days, but on this day
I was thankful). I was sobbing heavily and through the tears and pain I tried
hollering for someone. Yet it was more like a whisper. Again, thankfully my
husband heard the cries and whisper and came to my rescue. He helped me up and
asked “what’s wrong?” I replied “I don’t know, but something is terribly wrong”.
The pain only intensified. It ended up making me vomit that casserole up (FYI,
throwing up rice will make you fast rice for the rest of your life…I still have
yet to make that casserole again even though the hubs keeps begging for it).
After vomiting, Chance asked if we should go to the hospital or if I thought it
was contractions/baby related. At first I was real hesitant and thought ‘if I
just lay down for a little bit maybe the pain will ease’. But after a few
minutes of the pain not ceasing, I decided it best we go. On our way there,
we’re both worried. Mainly about the baby. But I began thinking, which side is
your appendix on? What if it ruptured? That would explain the sudden pain and
vomiting. The baby moved a little so that sort of put our minds at ease. We got
to the ER where they sent me to the Maternal Care Unit and put me on monitors
to make sure I wasn’t contracting. That wasn’t it, so they ordered an
ultrasound. The ultrasound didn’t show anything either; my appendix was fine.
At this point they weren’t sure what was causing the pain. After a few hours,
the pain finally began to ease. The doctor came in, she’s a different
ethnicity, has an accent, and talks really fast. She asked me to stay overnight
but because the pain was easing and they made sure everything was fine with the
baby, I told them I’d rather go home since I had other kids too. That sparked a
whole other conversation of the doctor asking us first, how many of each gender
we had and second, how long we would be stationed here? We told her this was
our fourth boy, we had one girl and that we’d be here at least 2 years or more.
She was in deep thought about something so we asked her what was it? And she
said “oh I’m just trying to figure out how many babies I’ll get to deliver
within the time y’all are here before you get another girl, because you know
you have to try for another!” We just laughed. It made us feel good that
despite society’s outlook on a big family, there’s some people all for it. They
don’t look at children as financial burdens. The doctor agreed I could go home
but if the pain was to return that I should come back. Thankfully all was well
and we didn’t have to…that night at least.
 |
| Celebrating bubba Jayden's 8th birthday in Heaven |
However, on April 1st at
33 weeks we were back. I began the day with a headache. No biggie. Then I felt
like my legs were falling asleep/going numb while walking and I was having a
harder time catching my breath (these two symptoms had been going on for a few
days). Still no big worry since all this can be pregnancy related. Then I
started seeing spots. I began to get a little worried. Not to mention, at 31/32
weeks we (me and the doctors) started noticing a large amount of blood in my
urine. At first it was treated as an infection but my cultures kept coming back
normal. So I posted on the birth Facebook page here in our town what was going
on to which everyone thought it’d be worth going in to get checked out. People
told of how it could be preeclampsia or nothing at all. Some told about how
they went in with the same symptoms and had their baby the next day. I was way
too early to have him but still was not convinced anything major was wrong, so
I called Chance’s work (he can’t keep his cell phone on him). At first I just
asked to speak with him. I just needed his particular opinion on what I should
do. I trusted his judgement. But his flight chief, who answered the phone,
asked if it was an emergency. To which I hesitated and said “well I’m not sure”.
He said “well should I send him home?” I replied, “well I’m not sure…I don’t
really know”. He probably thought I was completely crazy. I just wanted to talk
to my husband. So his flight chief said, “you just tell me what I need to do.
If I need to send him home, that’s what I’ll do”. So I said, “yeah sure. Just
send him home”. A few minutes later I got a call from Chance. He asked what’s
wrong and I told him and asked what he thinks I should do. He doesn’t seem too
concerned either however I should let it be known that stillbirth has happened
in my side of the family twice, so that always lies in the back of our minds.
We decided it wouldn’t hurt anything to just go in and get checked out. We know
how hospitals work and with it being late afternoon we decided to pick up some
food to take with us just in case we were there a while. We got to the
hospital, get taken back to the MCU, they hooked me up to monitors, and started
running test.
Everything, again, checked out just fine. No preeclampsia; baby
was good. Then I got to thinking, it is April 1
st and since I didn’t
get to play my prank on Chance I’ll play one on my sister. Here’s the convo:
She’s smarter than I thought. We left in hopes that we wouldn’t be back
until we actually had the baby. And you’re probably now asking yourself, ‘wait,
I thought I read that she was having her dream home water birth?’ Unfortunately,
that didn’t pan out because of a few reasons like 1, I was already behind on
care (I didn’t get my 20-week anatomy scan until after 28 weeks and still
needed to do my gestational diabetes test); 2, our midwife lived in El Paso and
with my previous history of fast labors she feared she wouldn’t get here in
time (she had a backup midwife planned but this midwife wasn’t for sure when
she’d be in our town because she was moving from TX and waiting on her last mom
to deliver); 3, (this was more mine and Chance’s fear) the cord was shown to be
wrapped around the baby’s neck at our anatomy scan and we feared what if
something happened at birth (like he’s a huge baby and he gets stuck coming
out, compromising or cutting off his oxygen supply) causing him complications
or worse? Yes, the midwife would’ve been prepared however, what if the second
reason applied and she wasn’t here? So as a group we decided it best for me to
start getting care at the Women’s Clinic and have a hospital birth. Definitely
more on the sad side, I knew that this was probably what was best for us and it
felt good to have a set in stone plan.
 |
| 28 weeks 4 days |
 |
| 28 weeks 4 days |
At my 36-week appointment I went in with excruciating pain. On a scale from
1-10 I told them my pain was an 8. I hurt all over from the waist down. Most of
the pain was coming from my right side, right below my rib cage, and it was
constant. But then I started feeling some cramping, noticed my stomach
tightening, and honestly felt like my pubic bone was going to split in half. I
expressed my concerns to the doctor (there’s more than one doctor in this
office so you see a different one every time because they want you to know them
all so it won’t be awkward not knowing your doctor when you deliver). This
doctor just happened to be the same one (different ethnicity) that seen me on
our first ER visit. She brushed it off and said it was probably just growing
pains and if it got worse to come back. I had also told her how the baby’s
movements had decreased. Like just the night before I hadn’t felt him move
hardly any. Usually every time I flip from side to side, he would flip too. But
he hadn’t. I was pretty concerned but figured it was because he was running out
of room or in a deep sleep, plus I had an appointment the next day. So she did
a non-stress test where they hooked me up to monitors and had me press the
black button every time he moved. Of course then, it was if I was lying because
he moved the whole time…stinker.
 |
| 35 weeks 6 days, before I got hospitalized |
All was well and we went home. I was still
functional just in a lot of pain, Chance went to work and about 3pm I couldn’t
move due to the pain. No matter what position I was in, standing, sitting,
laying, I was in over the top excruciating pain. My pain was now at a 10+. I
couldn’t think straight, much less take care of 3 kids. So I called Chance’s
work. This time there was no hesitation. As soon as someone picked up the phone
I said “this is Sergeant Ryan’s wife (I actually called him Airman Ryan because
I’m not used to saying Sergeant Ryan) and I need him home now! I’m 36 weeks
pregnant and I’m going to the hospital”. He came home right away and we headed
for the hospital. Guys, I’m telling you this pain was no joke. Like it was so
intense that it would make you think suicidal thoughts especially if you had to
‘just deal with it’. I had no relief. I even told Chance that if they offered
me a c-section right then I’d tell them while they were in there take
everything out…EVERYTHING. We got checked in, they (again) hooked me up to
monitors (turns out I was having contractions), checked my pee to still find
blood in it, and ordered an ultrasound. The tech asked me some questions, more
pertaining to birth this time since I was 36 weeks and if I was in labor they
wanted to be prepared. She then asked me if I had any thoughts on hurting
anyone. I laughed what I could and said “actually, yeah”. She, very puzzled,
looked at me and paused then said “the doctors…….or yourself?” I said “myself;
that’s how bad the pain is”. Then we started talking pain relief. Morphine.
This would help take the edge off the pain. But what they didn’t know was I’d had
morphine before. I had to get a shot of morphine when I was about 18 weeks
pregnant with Gracie because of a migraine and not being able to hold anything
down. It made me sicker than a dog. It made me feel like I was drunk and that’s
a feeling I can’t stand. I don’t like being dizzy. Yes, it took the pain away
but the way I felt afterwards wasn’t too much better. The tech left the room
and I immediately broke down in tears. Ugly crying actually. I was in so much
pain and I did not want morphine but I didn’t want to be in pain either. Why,
why, why? I prayed, begging God to take the pain away. She came back in and
that’s when I told her I was going to refuse the morphine. I just couldn’t take
it. I’d (can’t believe I said this) rather deal with the pain than take the
medicine. She said that’s fine and while I was down getting an ultrasound she
would see what else I could take. So I went and had the ultrasound done. If
you’ve never had a renal (kidney) ultrasound it’s a lot of “take a deep breath
and hold it” “now let it go”. Except sometimes the tech forgets to tell you to
let it go so you might just pass out from no air, which in essence would take
the pain away for a bit (don’t worry, I didn’t pass out). Almost done, the tech
asked me to flip either onto my side or back, I forget, except when I went to
flip the pain intensified even more! I couldn’t move. She then said we were
done and took me back to my room. The same doctor I had seen at my appointment
earlier that day comes in and tells me the results…a kidney stone which was
causing irritation, also causing contractions. I asked how I got the stone?
They don’t run in my family and usually they’re hereditary. I’d never had one
before (once you have one, you’re at a higher risk of getting more…yay!). How?
She said that it was probably my diet, soda’s or something new I was consuming.
Well my diet was pretty much the same day to day, I drank maybe one soda a day
but I had upped my intake of water to about ¾ to 1 gallon a day. Tap water that
is. She immediately retaliated “you drink from the tap? That’s poisonous!” Well
I didn’t know. I’m new here and have always drank from the tap. She said that
was probably 99.9% the problem and that I needed to stop drinking from the tap
and get some “good” water. So note, if you live in New Mexico or have hard
water…DON’T DRINK FROM THE TAP. You can get kidney stones. Side note: I kind of
knew about the hard water causing kidney stones because in Italy they warned us
of it and we had hard water there however, I drank if for four years (not near
as much as I do now; maybe a glass or two) and never had a problem so I didn’t
think anything of it. Afterwards she said “I don’t know why I didn’t think of a
kidney stone when I seen you in the office today. You had all the signs…pain in
your lower right side and lots of it.” Yeah, thanks. I like to think of myself
as super woman sometimes, but when I tell you I’m in pain and want pain
medicine, I don’t do it because I like the meds. I can’t stand taking meds.
Anyways, she said the stone was about 1cm in diameter and that they were going
to pump me full of fluids to try and flush it out. This would require me
staying the night. Here’s the thing…this all happened at the worst timing. As
much as I would rather have a baby, pass a kidney stone, and be pain free…I had
a hair appointment the next day, maternity photos that Saturday and we still
hadn’t done the belly cast. So being the planner I am, I said I’ll stay as long
as you let me go by 10am tomorrow morning so I can make my hair appointment.
They agreed. I mean there wasn’t much they could do for me anyways since I
refused all the pain meds they offered. They were all narcotics and I was so
afraid they’d make me sick. There’s no way I would’ve been able to handle
vomiting on top of the pain. But thankfully after the ultrasound tech brought
me back to my room the pain started decreasing. I’m sure it was all the praying
I had done. The pain was just coming in spurts now (every few minutes). Like
someone suddenly kicking me hard on the lower right side. I did end up taking
an anti-depressant/sleep aid that night in hopes that I could get some sleep.
But with all the fluids they had pumping through me plus being pregnant, I was
in the bathroom more than sleeping. They were straining my pee to watch for
sediment of the stone and before I left I had passed very little. Meaning the
stone was mostly still there but for some reason the pain was almost completely
gone. It would just be something I’d have to deal with and hopefully pass on my
own. They assured me when I passed it I would know.
I made it to my appointment, still wiped from the pain and no sleep but I
was getting my hair done. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who took great
care of me and let me get some extra sleep after we got home.
 |
| After getting out of the hospital and getting my hair done |
Then that
Saturday we went to White Sands National Monument and took some gorgeous
pregnancy photos with Living Dreams Photography (Sabine).
 |
| 36 weeks 2 days, getting ready for maternity pictures that almost got cancelled due to the wind |
 |
| 36 weeks 2 days |
 |
| Maternity photos by Living Dreams Photography |
I was now being seen weekly by the doctors. At our 36-week appointment, the
one mentioned above before getting admitted, the doctor had asked us if we had
had any growth scans. We told her no, that the only ultrasounds we’d had was at
10 weeks to confirm the pregnancy then our anatomy scan at 28 weeks. She said
she’d schedule us for a growth scan the next appointment. So at our 37-week
appointment, before meeting with the doctor, we had an ultrasound to determine
how baby was ‘growing’. Going into the ultrasound I was just excited to see the
baby. I haven’t had an ultrasound this late in the pregnancy since 2009
(Gracie). He would actually have meat on him and look more like a baby rather than
Michael Jackson. Sorry again. I know that this far in the pregnancy it’s really
hard to determine growth of the baby and guessing the weight was a bit farfetched.
The tech done the ultrasound and she got all the measurements (I also asked her
to check if the cord was still wrapped around his neck since it was at our
anatomy scan and thankfully from what she could see it was not!). She says
“he’s measuring around 34 weeks, so 3 weeks behind and I’m getting a weight of
a little over 6lbs”. She then asked if my other kids were small to which I
laugh and said they were actually the complete opposite. Unfortunately, since
he was so low and all scrunched up we didn’t get to see his face much (he kept
his hands in front of his face too) or even get any pictures. We went into
another room and waited for the doctor. This was one we weren’t particularly
fond of. He comes in and says, “he’s measuring a bit small which concerns me a
little so I’m going to set you up for another growth scan in two weeks”. I
looked at him with a huge grin on my face and in these exact words said “I call
bogus”. Shocked and taken back he not jokingly said “why do you say that?” I
told him about all my past pregnancies and how my babies only got bigger. I
went from 7lbs ¼oz (Jayden), Gracie being my smallest at 6lbs 13.5oz, then 7lbs
13oz (Gavin), and 8lbs 8oz (Marcus). I was expecting between an 8-9lb baby. And
then I really shocked him when I said those ultrasounds aren’t really accurate
on reading the weight anyways. Even the tech said she couldn’t get a accurate
measurement on his legs because they were all scrunched up and if one
measurement is off the whole assessment could be off. Not to mention that goes
by how big the bones are, not how much fat the baby has. He says “well were
still going to keep an eye on him”. I said “that’s fine”. To me that just meant
I got to see him more. And then I said “if you’re right and I have a small
baby, that’s a-OK with me. However, I just don’t find it in my cards”. He was
not happy. We scheduled the next appointment and left.
That weekend, I decided to finally pack our hospital bags.
I was proud
though, because with 5 people, 6 after baby, (we aren’t close enough with
anyone here yet, so it was decided that the kids would be coming with us and
attending the birth then dad would go home with them at night. I actually think
Gracie and Gavin wouldn’t have wanted to miss it so Marcus would be our only
“challenge” but we had prepared dad to wear him on his back in the Ergo and all
would be well) I hadn’t packed too much. It usually looks like we’re moving
into the hospital but I only had one small luggage, the boppy pillow,
breastfeeding pillow, lots of games/videos on the electronics for the kids, and
the baby’s things. I also had prepared 3 of our biggest/thickest beach towels
in case we had him in the van on the way to the hospital.
On Sunday, Mother’s Day, we decided it was time to make the belly cast (what
better day, right?). I really like to wait until almost the last possible
second so the kids can really visualize just how big I got with them. Gracie’s
was done the earliest because Chance was in tech school, so on the last visit
to see him before Gracie was born we done the cast in the hotel room. I was 35
weeks and 3 days (you can’t fly after 36 weeks). Then with Gavin I was 38 weeks
3 days, Marcus 38 weeks 2 days, and this one 38 weeks 3 days. We started the
day out with Chance trying to let me sleep in, but again I barely slept as it
was so that didn’t happen. We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast then we got to
work on creating the cast. As I stood there while Chance paper macheted me, I
began to feel like I was suffocating. I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. Most
people do the cast while sitting, but I prefer to do them while standing just
because again, the kids would get to see how big I really got. I needed to sit
but we were already too far into the process for that. So I told Chance he had
to hurry because I didn’t feel good. Then I began to get nauseous. I told him
he really had to hurry. Poor fella was going as fast as he could but my body
was at its wits end and I found myself hurled over the trashcan vomiting…with
the belly cast attached to me but I could feel it starting to detach. I finished
my business and told him we had to hurry and finish…as if he didn’t know that. After
we were done, I found myself literally wiggling to get the cast to fully detach
from me so I could go shower and lay down. Thankfully it didn’t mess up from
the vomiting and wiggling.
But see, this wasn’t the first time this suffocating/vomiting
thing had happened. It actually happened another time between 20 and 30 weeks
where I had eaten a honey bun Little Debbie cake and a little while later
(while sitting this time) felt like I couldn’t breathe, then ended up vomiting.
So I just assumed maybe I couldn’t handle all the sugar or something. I hadn’t
tried eating a honey bun again but the next day, after doing the belly cast, we
had cinnamon rolls left over so I wanted to see if it was the food/sugar. Nope
it wasn’t and those rolls were even better the second time around.
So remember the whole loved Maxtin Evan Ryan name? Still at this point in
the pregnancy I was trying to find that perfect name. I still liked Maxtin a
lot but decided I really didn’t like Evan. But for Maxtin I didn’t want people
to go around calling him Max. I didn’t like just Max at all, if I did I’d have
just used plain old Max. I had already been to every website more than twice
and nothing fit. I had even asked Gavin a few weeks prior what he thought the
baby’s name should be. I gave him all the options we first had considered plus
a few new options: Kingston, Sawyer, Jackson, and Caden. Oh, he was sold on
Kingsman (Kingston). However, Gracie would not let go of Maxtin. So I had really
gotten myself into a pickle. I couldn’t have both, therefore someone was going
to get their feelings hurt. As we were driving back to base one day we finally
settled the debate…and with Gavin’s blessing the baby’s first name would for
sure be Maxtin. It was a good thing we didn’t live around family since we don’t
like to reveal the name before the baby is born because Gavin told any and
every one he came in contact with. The stranger in JC Penney’s even knew. Now
we needed a middle name. This was so hard. I had picked out Andrew and Ezra
(Chance loved Ezra but I didn’t think it flowed well with Maxtin). But still
wasn’t set on anything. It was pretty much going to come down to after we had
him, we’d decide then. We’d have to. We couldn’t say “oh well, we’ve got time”.
For my 38
th week appointment I had convinced the front ladies
that I didn’t need an appointment (they usually scheduled my appointments on
Thursday since that’s the day I changed weeks on) that Thursday since I had the
other ultrasound scheduled for the following Monday and I really didn’t want to
come see them twice in a matter of days. Not necessarily them, because we had a
great relationship with the front desk ladies. They agreed.
For my 39
th week appointment, we came back for the ultrasound and
to see the doctor. It was the same doctor from the last appointment that I
called bogus too. At this practice and most other practices like in Aviano,
kids were not allowed in the ultrasound room. So unfortunately Chance had to
stay out in the waiting room with the kids (same with the last ultrasounds too)
but get this…they let him and the kids come in after the diagnostic part was
done to “see” the baby, yet it was almost as long as the diagnostic part. I get
it though, because kids aren’t interested in the blurry thing on the screen so
they look elsewhere in their machinery to keep occupied. The diagnostic part
was over and he was measuring at 37-weeks (still 3-weeks behind) but this time
getting a weight of 7lbs 4oz. Again, I wasn’t concerned. Even if he was small,
he was growing and that’s all that mattered. I still didn’t believe that he was
small though. Chance and the kids came in and we got to pretty much meet our
son through ultrasound.
 |
| 39 weeks 4 days |
I’d never seen a baby this late in the pregnancy so clear
without actually birthing them. It blew my mind. Before Chance and them had
come in, me and the tech talked about Jayden. She had questioned about the
gender of the baby and how many of each I already had. She had a 6-month old
son at home and said SIDS was one of her biggest fears. I think because of this
and she knew how dear our children were to us she done her absolute best at
getting us some pictures. And the baby actually cooperated, kept his hands out
of his face and wasn’t lodged to far down like last time. This just made me
that much more anxious to meet him. At this point I was thankful that things
had turned out the way they did with us not being able to have a home birth
because if it hadn’t, then we wouldn’t have gotten these extra ultrasounds nor
the pictures. We went into the next room to meet with the doctor and he tells
us that he’s still measuring small but he wasn’t concerned since he was still
growing. He just figured my due date was off. Thing is, I knew it wasn’t
because I knew almost the exact date of conception. I didn’t want to make him
any unhappier with me though, so I didn’t argue. We set up our 40-week
appointment for the following week (I’d actually be 40 weeks 4 days) but we
were in hopes that we’d have a baby before then.
 |
| 39 weeks 6 days |
On my due date, Thursday May 19
th and no baby in sight, I get a
call from our birth photographer (Karina Schuh, The Birth-Photographer of
Alamogordo) telling me how a new midwife (Elizabeth (Liz) Derry, owner of Otero
Birth) had just gotten settled into town and she had brought me up to the
midwife, saying how much I wanted a home birth but how it didn’t work out with
the other midwife. The new midwife told our photographer that she would be
interested in attending my birth if I still wanted a home birth (!!!!). See
remember earlier when I said our first midwife had a backup midwife planned but
she lived in Texas at the time and didn’t know when she’d be moving here? Yeah,
this was that midwife! I had heard a lot of great things about her and had been
seeing post on the birth Facebook page here in our town about others
experiences with her. Every time I’d see a post I’d tell myself to contact her
just to see if she’d be interested in attending our birth but then I’d always
talk myself out of it saying, “who are you kidding? You could have a baby any
day!” But after our photographer called and told me this I jumped on the
opportunity. This was my sign. I called her and explained everything to her. We
talked for a bit and then she said she would definitely be interested in helping
us fulfill our dream home water birth! YAY! She did already have plans to be
out of town that following Tuesday-Thursday so we would still continue seeing
the doctors at the hospital just in case I had to deliver on those days. Only
problem would be getting Chance back on board. Not that Chance was opposed to
having a home birth, but he did feel more comfortable being in a hospital for
two reasons; 1, my history of bleeding and 2, the scare of the cord being
around the baby’s neck. Anddd he didn’t want to clean up the aftermath like he
did with Gavin but the difference with having a midwife there is they take care
of all that. So when he got home from work Gracie told him that I had been on
the phone with someone talking about the baby; I was in the bathroom. He
worriedly comes in the bathroom asking what was going on and I said nothing
why? He told me what Gracie said and I said “that heifer”. He asked what she
meant and I said hesitantly “Soooooo, having a home birth is back on the
table…..if you want” with the biggest grin on my face. He laughed and said “oh
is it?” I explained to him everything and how I just felt like it was meant to
be since I had been wanting to message this midwife but my brain kept stopping
me and then our photographer just calls me out of nowhere saying she had talked
to the midwife for us? Come on, if there ever was fate it was now. He knew how
badly I wanted this and HE thinks this is our last baby so he wanted me to get
my “last wishes” sort of to say. Now that he was on board, we just had to pray
that the baby didn’t come between Tuesday and Thursday.
We met and had our first appointment with the midwife the next day (Friday,
one day ‘past’ due). We expressed our concerns about how I bleed more than most
women after birth and she suggested that we go to a supplement store and grab
some Magnesium, Calcium, and Chlorophyll. These would help control the
bleeding. Huh? Wonder why no doctors ever told me about this? They’d always
just given me a Pitocin shot after birth and called it good, and of course she
would have some on hand just in case that was our last resort. But if I could
take something natural and it have the same effect, I’d much rather do that.
The knowledge a midwife has in natural ways of life over a doctor is
astounding. Medicine and technology have taken over our generation so much that
no one remembers what can be done by the body alone or the natural things we
have access to. That’s not to say that sometimes procedures/medicine aren’t
necessary because sometimes they are…but most times, they’re not. Stepping off
that pedestal…that night was the release of the new Angry Birds movie. We had
told the kids as long as I didn’t have the baby yet we would take them. Maybe
the baby was just trying to get brownie points with the kids by waiting to come
until after they had seen the movie. After we were home later that night, my
kidney stone started acting up. I was up almost all night in pain. I tried
Tylenol, heating pad, sleeping on the couch and nothing worked. Not only was
the pain keeping me up but when I did doze off for a second I was immediately
awoken to what seemed like I had tinkled on myself. I ran to the bathroom and
thought man that’s weird. Never before had I had this happen and I’d never
leaked fluid before or had my water break before I knew the baby was about to
come so I didn’t think it was my water. Then I noticed that I had lost some of
my mucus plug, so maybe it was fluid and maybe we were going to have a baby
sooner than I thought. Maybe things were going to go different this time
around. However, it was just a little bit of the plug so I didn’t ‘plan’ on
anything happening in four days or less. After being in so much pain I decided
I was going to ‘threaten’ the booger…I was going to begin painting Gracie’s
room the next day (Saturday) in hopes it would coax him out. Maybe climbing the
ladder and being on my feet so much would get things going. I know, everyone’s
probably thinking…girl just go have sex. It’s never worked for the others and
I’m not going to get all hot and sweaty for nothing…okay it wouldn’t be for
nothing but who wants to be touched when they’re huge and 40+ weeks pregnant?
So Saturday, after very little sleep and still in a great deal of pain I
began to notice I was starting to contract. Ha, maybe that threat worked. I was
still going to go through with painting the room though because I wanted to get
it done before the baby got here and it would keep my mind busy. Off to Sherwin
Williams, Home Depot, and a few other places we went. In each store that I
entered I was asked how much longer I had with that poor pitiful you look. I
replied, “2 days overdue but hoping today is the day”. This one black older
lady responded back with “when I had my kids in the 50’s (she had 6), I would
go outside and sit on the hard concrete/blacktop and I swear that put me into
labor every time”. I giggled inside and thought ‘that’s just what I want to do’
sarcastically, but I politely replied “maybe I’ll have to give that a try” and
we parted ways. Paint in hand, we headed home and I immediately got to work
thinking maybe we’d have a baby that night. However, there was something weird
about these contractions. They only seemed to be noticeable when I was sitting
down or resting. When I was up, climbing the ladder and whatnot they ceased.
Completely opposite of how I thought contractions worked. After talking with
the midwife we came to the conclusion that it was probably the kidney stone
causing irritation again which was causing the contractions. Bummer. I still
carried on and finished Gracie’s room…until 3am Sunday morning to be
exact.
Sunday (3 days past due date) was a pretty relaxed day. The pain from the
kidney stone had died down therefore the contractions were gone. We rearranged
the kid’s rooms and put Gracie in her room.
On Monday (4 days past due date) we had an appointment with our midwife in
the morning. I don’t know why I said we because Chance was at work. He worked a
horrible shift of 2am-12pm this week (they are constantly switching his hours).
He kept saying the baby would for sure come this week because he would be
getting little to no sleep all week and that’s exactly how it went with Gavin;
he had just gotten off at 6am when I went into labor with Gavin (I let him nap
while I labored though). She done the normal check up and asked how I felt. I
said good just wished I had a baby by now. This was now the longest I’d ever
been pregnant. I was ready to hold my baby. She asked if I felt like anything
was going to happen anytime soon and I said no. I really hadn’t lost much of my
mucus plug and usually after I lose it all that’s my sign that labor is 4 days
out. All the pain had ceased. He was just super comfy. We went over signs of
labor and she assured me that if I went all the way to 41 weeks 5 days she had
some tricks in her bag that would for sure put me into labor. (Oh Lord! Please
don’t let me go that long!) We also had our 40-week appointment at the doctor’s
office that afternoon. We were seeing the newest doctor there this time, one
we’d never seen before. We got taken back to our room, I went and peed in the
cup (STILL had blood in my urine) but when I wiped there was more mucus plug! I
went back to the room where the nurse asked if I wanted the doctor to check me.
Usually before 40 weeks I won’t let them because that number is just that…a
number until you’re in active labor. But since I was 40 weeks 4 days I was
curious if the contractions from the irritation of the kidney stone were doing
anything. So I said “yeah, why not?” The nurse walked out; I got undress to
find I had lost the rest of my mucus plug! Yes! Hopefully this meant by Friday
we’d be holding our newest member! The doctor came in, asked how things were
going and what the plans were since we were now past 40 weeks? Ha, I knew this
would be one of their first questions. I told her because of my previous
experiences with inductions I would not let them induce until 42 weeks. Plus, a
due date isn’t an exact date of when the baby should be born, that date could
be off by 2 weeks. She hesitantly looked at us and said “well you know the risk
for a still birth greatly increases after 41 weeks, right?” It didn’t seem to me
like she had any compassion towards us at all. I replied, “yes I know this. If
you looked in our chart (she chimes in “I did”) you’ll see that we’ve already
lost one son to SIDS so we don’t take risk of losing our children lightly”. She
said “I understand but I need you to understand the risk”. I said, “well it
doesn’t matter anyways because I just lost the rest of my mucus plug, and going
by my past two labors I’m sure we’ll have a baby by Friday”. She said “well
until you have the baby I want you to come in every other day for a non-stress
test (where they hook you up to monitors, you press the button every time the
baby moves, and have a growth ultrasound)”. Okay lady. Just do your exam. She
checks me, and remember this isn’t my first rodeo but something was different
about this check. It hurt really, really bad. Worse than a pap smear, which
doesn’t even hurt that bad. I’ve even had my membranes swept before with Marcus
and again, this hurt worse than that. When she finished, she had blood and
mucus on her glove. She said I was a 3 then said we should go home and have
sex. She said it was science that semen can help dilate or thin the cervix. I
laughed at her and Chance had the “told ya so” face on. She walked out and I
looked at Chance and said “that hurt! Like really, really bad!” We went and
scheduled our next appointment for Thursday (the ladies at the front desk can’t
believe I still haven’t had him) then left. I texted the midwife and gave her
the update then we decided to stop at the splash pad by our house before going
home so the kids could get some energy out. I dropped Chance and the kids off
so I could go home and get towels and pee. I felt wet down there and wanted to
make sure I wasn’t leaking or peeing on myself again. I got to the bathroom and
realized I was bleeding and had passed two very small blood clots. I know
bleeding can occur after a check but I’ve NEVER had bleeding after ANY kind of
cervical exam. Not after a pap smear or when I got my membranes swept with
Marcus or even when I had the Mirena put in after having Jayden. So I
immediately texted our midwife and told her what was going on. We came to the
conclusion that the doctor probably swept my membranes and was too aggressive
when she done it. That would explain all the pain. I felt violated. She didn’t
even ask my consent or tell me she had done it (if she did). Not to mention, we
definitely didn’t want the membranes swept at this appointment because our
midwife was leaving the next morning for two days and chances are if a membrane
sweep is going to work, labor will start within 24 hrs. I really didn’t want to
have to go to the hospital now that we had the option of a home birth again.
Plus, while we were at the doctor’s office I asked them who the on call doctor
for delivering babies was this week and we had a one-day window of delivering
with the doctor we actually liked. So I told the midwife that hopefully if
anything, labor would start soon or nothing would come of the check. She told
me that she didn’t plan on leaving until 6:30-7am the next morning and to keep
her updated. I went back to the splash pad and told Chance what was going on.
He was just as angry with the doctor as me. He asked me how I was feeling and I
said fine; still no contractions. We let the kids play for a bit then went home
to eat supper. The bleeding eventually started slowing down but I was still
having discharge with blood in it. Chance was in bed super early because of his
new schedule so I put the kids to bed, finished painting Gracie’s picture frame
for her room, then went to bed myself. Since Friday night when my kidney stone
was acting up I had been sleeping on the couch. I just found it more
comfortable than the bed. My hips weren’t hurting near as bad.
Tuesday around 12am I was awoken to what seemed like I was peeing on myself
again. Except this time, it was more than a tinkle. And I couldn’t stop it. I
ran to the bathroom before it went all the way through my clothes and onto the
couch, then noticed it was going down my leg. I literally made it to the
toilet, straddled it while standing, got my underwear down just a little bit
before more started coming. I knew this wasn’t pee this time. It was white and
cloudy. But my water had never prematurely broken. I always knew when it was
going to break because I’d have the worst contraction ever. And I wasn’t
contracting at all at this point. I knew it wasn’t the whole bag of water
because it was only about 1-2 cups, but still I’d never experienced anything
like this. So I texted my midwife and let her know what happened, that I wasn’t
contracting so I was going to lay back down and try to get some rest. Then I
texted Chance because he was about to wake up and start getting ready for work
at 1am. I told him what happened, that I thought he should call in because I
was pretty sure my water was breaking and that if it is, when things do start
happening he probably wouldn’t have time to get home. I tried going back to
sleep but my mind was going 90 miles an hour. I heard Chance get up, leave,
then come back. Apparently when he tried calling in no one answered so he went
to leave someone a note. I finally fell asleep but off and on I would wake up
to a mild contraction. Nothing too intense to keep me up so I wasn’t worried
about it. Then I woke up at 6am, went to pee and felt a little crampy. But
still wasn’t anything super out of the ordinary. So I sat on my exercise ball
for a bit to see if I was even contracting (or possibly get the contractions to
become stronger) and how far apart they were if I were. I then texted our
midwife to give her an update since I knew she would be hitting the road soon.
Here’s the convo with times:
Needless to say, she canceled leaving that morning. At this point I wasn’t
even sure I was having steady enough contractions to consider it labor, but
something was going on. This was just completely different than all the rest.
The contractions were super mild with a peak of like 10 seconds. After talking
with the midwife, I texted our photographer to let her know what was going on.
Because I wasn’t for sure this was it, I didn’t tell her to come right away. I
then came back into the living room and Chance was up. He began putting his
uniform on…? I asked him where he was going. He said they told him he had to
come in if I was not being admitted to the hospital or wasn’t in active labor. I
said “um do they know were planning a home birth so even when I have the baby I
won’t be admitted in the hospital? And did you tell them we think I’m in active
labor?” He said “yeah I told them but they said I had to be in by 7:45am”. I
said “well let’s set up the birthing pool before you go just in case”. At this
point, the contractions were definitely there. Not close together, but they
definitely had a punch behind them when they did come. Then reality started to
set in and I began to worry that I was going to have this baby without anyone
here. Gracie would be my only hope of help. Chance was about to leave and as
things sped up, I probably should’ve told our midwife to skip Wal-Mart but in
my head I was in denial that it could go that fast. I had been going to the
bathroom non-stop (pooing; yeah the not so pretty part of labor…but I’d rather
do it now than when I’m pushing out a baby, just saying) and I remembered our
midwife telling me that a sign of labor is looser stools. I hadn’t heard
anything back from the photographer so I called her at 7:14am. I let her know
that things were moving quick and that we’d probably be having a baby in the
next couple of hours. She said she was going to put her son on the school bus
then head over. I got off the phone with her and our kids were starting to wake
up. We got them up and told them today we’d get to meet the baby!
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| Birth Photography by Karina Schuh |
They were so
excited!! But you know the first thing out of their mouths besides yay? “Can we
play on the iPad/Leap Pad now?” See, when I packed our hospital bags, I charged
all the electronics and packed them too so I didn’t have to worry about them
not being charged. We don’t let the kids play on them much anyways so it’s a
reward when they do get to play them. I had also put new games on their Leap
Pad and bought them head phones so that made them all the more excited about
playing them. Contractions started to get more intense to where I actually had
to stop what I was doing, lean on something, and breathe/moan through them. I
told Chance if he left he had an 85% chance of missing the birth. This was
happening super quick. I was feeling pressure but I was trying to wait for
everyone to get there plus the pool still needed to be filled so I kept my legs
close together. It sounds funny, but I could feel him trying to descend. I
usually get into a sort of squat position while leaning over something when I
feel the pressure, to open up my hips so the baby can descend. The kids at
first was concerned when they seen me in pain but we assured them I was okay,
that I was just working on getting baby brother out of my tummy.
They were much
more relaxed then. They just went in other rooms, played the electronics and
did their own thing. I was in the bathroom, again, when Chance brought me my
phone because our midwife had texted at 7:25am (21 minutes prior) saying she was
headed our way. How I knew it was 21 minutes prior was because I made sure to
check how long it had been since she sent that text. Had she just sent it, I
was going to call her and tell her she needed to step on it. But since it had
been 21 minutes I knew she was close to us and then we heard a knock at the
door (7:46am). Thank God! Then a few minutes later, our photographer arrived.
The midwife told Chance to go ahead and start filling the pool up. She then
started getting vitals on me and the baby.
I had a decent contraction
afterwards then said I was going to go try and go to the bathroom again. Chance
gave me that look of “yeah, bathroom. I know what’s really about to happen…I’ve
done this before”. I assured them I wasn’t going to have a baby on the toilet.
I would just rather make sure everything was cleared out before pushing out a
baby. Or so I thought.
I went to the bathroom (kid’s bathroom in particular)
and had a really bad contraction then my water officially broke. Well at least
I was on the toilet, right? Marcus comes in right as this was happening with
his little lips puckered up wanting a kiss. Poor fella didn’t understand exactly
what was going on, he just knew mommy was in pain and he wanted to kiss it all
away. Unfortunately, the pain was so bad, I couldn’t give him a kiss back.
I
mustered out through the pain that my water broke and again, thankfully Chance
was right next to me in the master bathroom and heard me. He hollered into the
living room to tell the midwife and she came back there knowing we were getting
ready to have a baby. She was already prepared with the supplies. Chance took
Marcus to the living room then came back. Now let me give you guys a visual of
how big this bathroom is. Imagine a bathtub sitting vertical from wall to wall.
Now the sink is right beside it with about a 3-inch gap between the two (no
joke, a bottle of bubble bath is all that can squeeze between the two). In
front of the sink is the door. So when it swings open, it gets about ½ an inch
from touching the front of the sink and blocks the tub. Then right next to the
sink is the toilet. You can wash your hands while sitting on the toilet.
There’s maybe a 3 ½ foot empty space to walk in. Back to the story…the midwife
asked me if I felt pressure or like pushing. I said “yes”. She said “can you
get off the toilet so you can get in position?” I said “no”. I couldn’t move.
The pain was paralyzing and I could feel him starting to come. While this was
going on, her assistant hadn’t made it to the house yet so having the kids
there was a big help. They would go get her towels and what not. We had Chance
get in the bathroom with me to help get me off the toilet.
She had already put
down the puppy pad things (I don’t know the medical term for the human ones) to
protect the floor, I got down on all fours except my butt was facing Chance. We
waited for the contractions to let up for a second and I turned around so that
my top half was in the bathroom facing Chance, who was sitting on the toilet
(with the top closed), and my bottom half was outside of the bathroom.
The
midwife and photographer was out in our tinsy hallway of about 3 feet wide. Gavin
came back to investigate and I hear him disgustingly exclaim “Is that poop on
her butt (where your butthole protrudes while pushing)?” Leave it to him to
make light of a situation but also embarrass you! We laughingly told him to go
back in the living room. I asked if the pool was ready because if so, I’d like
to run and get in it just to have the baby so I could have my water birth. But
unfortunately everything happened so fast, the pool was still filling up and
wasn’t quite full enough. Plus, we have monster of a water heater and the
scolding hot water hadn’t run out yet, so the water was too hot. It didn’t
matter anyways because right after that my body started pushing the baby out. I
pushed maybe 2 or 3 times and his head was out.
I remember while pushing, the
pain/ring of fire was so intense that I asked the midwife if she could help. Ya
know, just pull him out. She done an awesome job of keeping me calm, getting me
to breathe and finish pushing. With Gavin and Marcus, I felt like I acted like
an animal frantically saying “somebody help me!” over and over with Gavin and
“I can’t do this!” over and over with Marcus. But with this one, I felt like I
controlled myself better with the help of our midwife and Chance. Chance done
an awesome job of coaching me, telling me to breathe and how awesome I was
doing. Between the two of them, I think they helped me focus more on pushing.
The environment was so calm. Nobody was running around the room prepping
things. Gracie and Gavin came back there to watch for a second but daddy told
them they might want to go back in the living room and they agreed. So the head
was out and with just a few more pushes our newest baby boy was born. 8:06am.
--If you’re keeping track, from the moment I first text the midwife to tell
her I MIGHT be in labor (6:29am) to when I had him (8:06am), that’s a time span
of 1 hour and 37 minutes. I wasn’t even for sure I was in labor for 37 of those
minutes. The midwife got there at 7:46am meaning she was only there 20 minutes
prior to the birth and the photographer a few minutes less than that. I could
count the total number of contractions in the 1 hour 37 minutes on my fingers
and toes. And had Chance left to be at work by 7:45am he would’ve for sure
missed the birth.
He immediately began to cry but only for a few seconds. He got passed
between my legs up to me where I fell in love all over again.
To me, he looked
small (I was expecting a 9 pounder) but perfect in every single way. We called
Gracie, Gavin, and Marcus in there to meet him.
It was such a special moment as
it always is. I was dying to get him in my arms and snuggle him but in the
position I was in I couldn’t hold him. So Chance helped me up and we moved to
the bed (yes there was a shower curtain down and puppy pad underneath me).
The
kids followed us in there, Marcus more distant than the others, and had some
family bonding time while we waited for the placenta to deliver.
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| He wasn't to sure what was going on |
The placenta
delivered and Chance cut the cord.
We asked Gracie if she wanted to cut it and
at first she was all for it because she didn’t know exactly what she was doing.
When she seen what she was going to be doing, I could tell she didn’t want to
anymore. So I asked her again if she wanted to and she said “umm, no that’s
okay”. The midwife taught us, including the kids, about the placenta. It was so
cool to see the thing that kept him alive for 9 months.
With all the others it
was whisked away. We spent some more bonding time together while the baby
nursed. Then our midwife done the newborn assessment. He weighed 8lbs 3oz, 21 ½
inches long, with a 13 ½ inch circumference head!
This whole time I kept
saying, oh my goodness that happened so fast! I even said “I didn’t even have
time to post on Facebook for the family!” I didn’t even have time to let my
sister know. I was in shock to say the least. I then got up and took a shower
while the kids got to hold him for the first time.
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| Marcus liked the baby better in my belly |
After all was said and done
and everyone left, me and the baby took a nice needed nap. It was so nice to be
in the comfort of our own home, in our own bed, with no nurses to bug us (I
know in the hospital they’re just doing their jobs). Around noon we introduced
him to the public via social media.
While the midwife was doing the newborn assessment she asked us what his
name was. I looked at Chance and said, “So, what is it?” giving him final say.
And without further ado world, I introduce you to Maxtin Andrew Ryan.
